Don’t Concern Yourself With That Book

At this point, there was no reason for Amor to kill me or poison me. But I could not leave things to chance.

‘No, in fact, I was never on your side to begin with. Ha ha ha!’

I would be really shocked if he suddenly shouted that.

But eventually, nothing happened to my body. In addition, Amor never told me what I had taken. It was obviously not poison but I still felt a little uncomfortable.

“I’m giving you this.”

I took a glance at his palm.

“… It looks like what I ate just now.”

“That’s right.”

I did eat that. I wanted to ask him more about his strange behaviour today.

“Can you stop looking at me like that and just take it? This is precious, you know.”

As if noticing my expression, Amor smiled and tilted his head.

“Well, you just said that it was dangerous.”

He then furrowed his eyebrows before bluntly chiding me for taking his joke seriously.

“Even if it’s precious, how do you expect me to accept it when I don’t know what it is? Can you please just tell me?”

“It’s something that’ll help you.”

“Help? I just ate it and nothing happened.”

“Who said so?”

“What?”

His eyes that were staring at me were slightly curled. He must think it was too troublesome to help me understand.

“It’s a relief you’re not looking in a mirror.”

Lifting his hand slowly, he tapped on my cheek before gently pulling my bandage off and tilting his chin. While I stared at him anxiously, he smiled at me tenderly. He then grabbed a vial that a vine was holding before placing the drug inside.

“Take it.”

He whispered quietly in the room that held just the two of us. He told me it was dangerous but he also told me to use it.

A few days later, I visited Amor again. And that was only because I had been flustered during my last visit and could not ask what I had planned on asking.

It was all because of the thingI suddenly ate. I still did not know its effects.

“What else can it be if it isn’t medicine or poison?”

“And why are you asking?”

“Just because. I was curious.”

I answered honestly. His covers had the aroma of tea and the fragrance of wild flowers. There was always the pleasant smell of a forest whenever I was around Amor. It was funny because he could not even step into one.

Just like Fleon who liked to keep himself clean, his sheets were always neat whenever I visited. Perhaps this was Amor’s habit.

“Haven’t you already seen everything there is? I don’t have anything else to show you.”

He folded his arms before blinking.

“Ah, I’m helping the Templars of Fertility improve their harvests. It gives me a strange feeling, sending them ripe fruits every single time they ask.”

“Is brother the only templar around?”

“I am. I’m the only Templar of Plants. Come to think of it, you.”

Amor examined me closely.

“The fruit that chases away the hounds must have run out.”

“You’re right.”

He clicked his tongue before holding my wrist. A black fruit suddenly flew in from nowhere. His hand was fiddling with the bracelet dangling on my left wrist. I watched as the fruit melted into a thick liquid before seeping into the bracelet.

“… I don’t just make poison.”

“I know. I know you can make antidotes and you even made me a charm to drive hounds away.”

It felt like I already knew what he wanted to say so I smiled more clearly. Amor stared at me smiling before slightly raising the corner of his lips.

Although he always had a fierce expression, his movements gave him a softer impression making him look grumpy instead.

“Did you know? I can also make a concoction that can ‘erase your memories’.”

“My memories?”

“To be more precise, it’s something that erases one of your most unforgettable memories.”

From his words, it sounded like magic. I mean, it sounded more like a god’s ability than magic.

“… Why did you make it?”

“Why do you think I made it?”

He curled his eyes gently. His cloudy green eyes still looked cold but there was a boyish jewel-like glint in them as well. His following smile was then as refreshing as a summer forest and as soft as a feather.

‘Try to guess.’

His green eyes shifted towards me as if waiting for me to leave. I placed my hand over my other.

“I’m not sure.”

As he scrutinised me, it reminded me of the day I first met him. Instead of making eye contact , I lowered my head.

… It felt like I had unintentionally heard his secret.

“I don’t know.”

I did not think I should try to guess.

It was just a hunch but… I did not think he was not looking for an answer.

“You’re no fun.”

“Haha. You should have told me if you wanted an interesting answer. I have an older brother who has a knack for saying nonsense.”

“The 6th Prince?”

He returned to his usual expression and answered bluntly.

“You look like you’re having fun when you talk about him.”

“How can that be? I think you got it wrong. Don’t I sound irritated or annoyed?”

How could I have fun talking about Fleon? Just yesterday I had another unfortunate incident where I had to place an ice pack to my cheek.

‘When will he grow up…’

I reminisced about yesterday’s event in the blink of an eye.

Blink.

I could feel an ache growing in my temple. The pain that quickly spread pierced me like a lightning strike.

“What’s wrong?”

“Ah. I-it’s nothing. I was just thinking for a second.”

In pain, I lifted my finger before pressing down on my temple hard and releasing it.

It was strange.

I was pretty sure my body was insensitive to any kind of pain. But this pain that was now spreading down my spine felt like someone had inserted a needle down into my head. I focused on other thoughts to forget about the pain that gradually subsided.

When it hurt, did he cure his pain with medicine he made himself?

Fleon would get severely sick about once a year. Every time that happened, both Dane and I would go visit him in his palace. Fleon did not like the commotion but he did not dislike our visits.

‘When you’re sick, anyone will feel weak.’

That was true but what about Amor? Was there anyone in this palace who could hold his hand during such times? There was only a one year difference between him and Fleon. And with this one year difference, he became the only strong templar of his kind left in their Empire.

They were of the same blood. But one’s power divided their fate.

“What’s wrong with your expression?”

I had been groaning inwardly. I wished I was a strong templar like Amor or an excellent knight like Lord Ray. How great would it be to be someone who had the ability to prevent the misfortunes of such tragic events?

Would my life be any different if I could at least block the sword that Castor struck?

As time passed and I became an adult, I thought I could do anything but better. However, the world only considered those who endured and persevered ‘adults’.

I was an adult but I did not want to be an adult. Misfortune was sad and dying was sad too. And I was afraid of the sadness and pain that might appear in my future. I wanted to be someone who could remain unwavering and protect everything even against the blowing winds. And I was sad that I could not be that. I felt like vomitting somewhere.

Who would accept my childish naivety?

“Brother…”

And who would accept your childish naivety when you were as lonely as me?

“Are you alright? You look pale. If you’re sick anywhere, I’ll give you medicine…”

I shook my head slowly.

“There are too many depressing things around me.”

Too many.

He paused. His green eyes turned towards me again.

“Are you… talking about me?”

I took his hand.

“I wasn’t just talking about you, brother. But you are included.”

Amor stared at me. It was hard to read into whatever he was thinking.

Soon after, he smiled before tilting his head.

“Then how about you give me something other than compassion and sympathy?”

The vines that moved instead of his hands lifted me up. Somehow, he looked angry, sad and happy all at once. His angry smile gradually grew closer.

“Then what can I give you, brother?”

“I’m not sure.”

His thin, light, azure blue hair was swaying in the wind. He smiled clearly before opening his dry lips.

“Call my name.”

“…..”

I whipped my head up.

“Call me ‘Amor’.”

His soft cold fingers squeezed mine for a moment. His fingers sank into my wrist.

“Now.”

Amor straightened his back before putting his hands together. In this silence, only his eyes were moving.

“… Hurry.”

As if angry at me for urging him but not keeping my end of the deal, he whipped his head around.

“Brother.”

“Enough.”

Amor spat out.

“If anyone else can hear this, they’ll think I’m granting you an Amasia (middle name)”

Amor was no longer looking at me. But I held him in my gaze before letting out a low sigh. I continued staring at him.

“Amasia… is a name only lovers living together can call each other. Of course I can’t call you something like that.”

His expression was indifferent and harsh as if whatever I said meant nothing to him but I could not say the same about myself.

To call him by his name. In this world, especially in this Empire, meant a lot. In the novel, Castor only allowed Rusbella to call him by his name. It was especially meaningful to call an Imperial family member by their name.

“This, holds meaning to you, right, brother?”

I whispered softly but firmly.

“No.”

“Liar.”

I did not know him like that.

“Don’t say that.”

Amor stared at me. It was hard to believe but he looked neither sad nor happy.